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Save the squid cheerleader, save the world?

Splatoon 2‘s first Splatfest was an abject horror show. Not only did the use of ketchup and mayo as inks look absolutely revolting – nobody shine a blacklight on there – but the result was a travesty.

Mayo won, in case you were wondering, but ketchup had over 70% of the popular vote. [Not for the first time recently, eh? – Ed.] In a bizarre turn of events, ketchup voters outnumbered mayo voters so much that some players were seeing almost exclusively ketchup-on-ketchup violence during the Splatfest, which effectively nullified any scoring in ketchup’s favour.

So yes, mayo technically won, but it was a hollow victory borne of a broken system. Furthermore, anybody who puts that stuff on their chips (or fries, if you prefer) is a ghastly deviant. Ketchup for life.

So Splatoon 2‘s next Splatfest will hopefully be something less controversial: would you choose the power of flight, or the power of invisibility?

Well that seems fair enough. It’s a harmless, innocent question, about the relative merits of superpowers. What could possibly…

Well, that lasted about thirty seconds before the name-calling and in-fighting began.

Dammit everyone, we can’t let Nintendo come between us again! That’s how evil prospers. That’s how mayo wins.

Anyone would think they were trying to distract us from something really rubbish they’ve done recently…

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