Connect with us
Advertisement

Features

The Fall of Duty: 01

If you’ve lost friends, money or even some of your memory (it happens, don’t judge me) because of Call of Duty, then you know what camping is.

Published

on

Call of Duty 4

If you’ve lost friends, money or even some of your memory (it happens, don’t judge me) because of Call of Duty, then you know what camping is.

You’re Rambo on a cocktail of stimulants – you’ve gunned down 23  men whose faces you’ve already forgotten and you’re on the verge of calling in a MOAB… then it happens. You turn a corner into a room and there’s a loser, prone underneath the desk behind the chair, with his crosshairs pointed at the door.

You know he’s been in this position the whole game because 8 out of 10 minutes have been played and his statistics read “2 deaths, 1 kill”. This living rebuttal to survival of the fittest sprays across the periphery of the doorway as you walk in and kills you. And now you feel like Rambo in the fourth film – a little droopy from the botox and a lot impotent from the anabolic steroids.

Advertisement

I should say that I don’t dislike camping because it’s an “unrealistic” way of playing the game. That argument is flawed because people don’t regenerate health in warfare either.

I dislike it because it’s unsportsmanlike conduct. It would be the equivalent of a football team placing 11 players in the goalmouth, or a basketball team having a player permanently seated on the rim. There may not be written rules about it but it makes people want to drop a payload of Agent Orange on you… and I don’t mean that in a virtual sense.

Advertisement

Sitting in a corner the whole game and waiting for someone to run by is not only boring, it also makes it hard for other players to have fun (since they have to check every single nook and cranny they walk past).

This series will explore issues in the world of COD that cause fans worldwide that unique sense of meaningless yet overpowering pain. The focus will be on giving you tips for beating campers but if I have any other burning issues on my chest, I’ll share solutions to them too.

So, what’s my first tip on beating camping? Be aggressive. Run and gun. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but one of the best ways of coming out on top is to surprise the camper. Plus, it will help you improve your reaction time.

There is also that priceless image of the stereotypical, unkempt gamer behind the camper bawling at his mother while he calls for a sandwich and poop basin.  There is the sweet knowledge that you played a small part in that indignity.

Special delivery for you

If you want to keep on top of the latest news, features, reviews, guides, and sales, we can send all our latest articles and great content straight to your inbox. You know, collated together, once or twice a week, in a newsletter. We wouldn't send them one at a time – that would be weird and annoying!

Recommended for you

Timi has cultivated a healthy hatred for mankind from playing too many games, reading too much existential philosophy and listening to Radiohead for marathon stretches of time.

Advertisement

Latest from Thumbsticks

A Profound Waste of Time The Reprint Kickstarter A Profound Waste of Time The Reprint Kickstarter
News15 hours ago

A Profound Waste of Time: The Reprint smashes its Kickstarter target

Sumptuous video game magazine A Profound Waste of Time is back on sale for a limited time, with a Kickstarter...

New Nintendo Switch eShop releases New Nintendo Switch eShop releases
News19 hours ago

New Nintendo Switch releases: September 20-24, 2021

Skatebird, Toem, and Cruis’n Blast headline this week's list of Nintendo Switch eShop releases.

New Xbox One game releases New Xbox One game releases
News1 day ago

New Xbox releases: September 20-24, 2021

The much-anticipated Sable and Yakuza spin-off sequel Lost Judgement are among the week's new Xbox Series X|S and Xbox One...

WarioWare: Get It Together! WarioWare: Get It Together!
Reviews3 days ago

WarioWare: Get It Together! review

WarioWario: Let’s Get It Together! adds multiplayer and multiple characters to a fan favourite Nintendo franchise, but at what cost?

Thatcher's Techbase Thatcher's Techbase
News3 days ago

This Doom adventure lets you blast a reanimated Maggie Thatcher back to hell

In Doom-based adventure, Thatcher's Techbase, "Margaret Thatcher is back from Hell... and the lady's not for returning!"

Deltarune logo Deltarune logo
News4 days ago

Deltarune Chapter 2 release date revealed by Toby Fox

Deltarune Chapter 2 is almost upon us. We don't need to tell you to "please be excited" for this one.

Tux and Fanny video game Tux and Fanny video game
Features4 days ago

Surreal web cartoon Tux and Fanny makes for a sublime video game

In one day I went from not knowing a thing about Tux and Fanny to proclaiming it the best video...

Battlefield 2042 key art Battlefield 2042 key art
News4 days ago

Battlefield 2042 release date bumped to November

Electronic Arts has confirmed that the upcoming military shooter Battlefield 2042 will be released one month later than planned. EA says...

Advertisement