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Catlateral Damage: Best press release ever?

Ever wonder why your cat takes such delight in knocking over your stuff? Catlateral Damage gives you the chance to find out!

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Catlateral Damage

Ever wonder why your cat takes such delight in knocking over your stuff? Catlateral Damage gives you the chance to find out!

Cats are dicks – my cats are dicks, your cats are dicks – it’s a well known fact that all cats are dicks. That doesn’t mean we love them any less, though, and their ability to go from bad pet to heart-meltingly cute is part of what makes them so popular.

One of the favourite activities for our feline friends is to knock shit over, preferably, off the edge of other shit. Case in point: I cannot leave a pen, pencil or USB stick on my desk without immediately having to retrieve it from the floor if I take my eyes off it for five seconds. Sometimes they even do it while you’re watching, just to see the look on your face as they wreck your shit:

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Now somebody has created a game, about being a cat, whose primary objective is being a dick and knocking shit over. It’s called Catlateral Damage, and it looks like a lot of fun. Hell, cats must enjoy it – they do it all the time – so why shouldn’t we get in on the action?

First-person, procedurally generated knick-knack trashing action ensures that Catlateral Damage never plays the same twice. Or it always plays the same, you’re just wrecking different shit every time, but then that’s kind of the point. No word on Oculus support yet, although that would be hilarious. I’m also hoping they’ll release a tablet version at some point so my own cats can try playing the game via touch-screen, just to mess with their little furry minds for once.

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The game doesn’t take itself very seriously, and Catlateral Damage’s latest press release – announcing its release on May 27 2015 – is also a sight to behold. The offending article reads as follows:

PRESS RELEASE

Catlateral Damage Trailer – Release Date Next Week May 27

For Immediate Release

Catbridge, MA, May, 20, 2015 – Mew meow CATLATERAL DAMAGE meow meow-ow Steam mew OUYA! Meow-ow mew mrow meow mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow, mew mew meow mrow mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew mrow meow meow! Mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow mrow mrow meow-ow mew mew mew. Meow-ow mew, meow meow mew meow mew mrow mew mew meow-ow mew mew meow.

Meow-ow mew meow meow  Wed May 27th mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow, mew mew mrow mrow mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow meow! Mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew meow meow-ow mew mew mew mrow. Meow-ow mew, meow meow mew meow mew meow mew mew meow-ow mew mew meow. Purrrr… Meow raaarowwww meow.

Me-meow mew mew meow meow-ow meow mew  catlateraldamage.com!

That is literally all there is. I can’t decide if it’s brilliant or terrible, but I’m looking forward to the game all the same!

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Tom is an itinerant freelance technology writer who found a home as an Editor with Thumbsticks. Powered by coffee, RPGs, and local co-op.

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