Because nothing truly says “cyberpunk” more than a snapback cap or a lanyard with a video game logo on it.
Did you ever want an officially licensed figurine of Geralt of Rivia as a Ronin? Or a canvas shopping tote bag with the Gwent logo on the side?
Or how about a Cyberpunk 2077 t-shirt with a trauma team helmet on it? Apparently, it’s “the T-shirt of choice for medics of the world’s leading paramilitary medical insurance corporation!” Or something.
No, nobody ever really thought they wanted any of these things. But now that Witcher and Cyberpunk 2077 developer CD Projekt Red has opened its own online merchandise store? You can bet people will be buying these things in droves.
We’re being a little cynical because that’s our default position – and there really is nothing cyberpunk about branded merch – but in its defence, CDPR’s online store does have an excellent range of clothing and accessories, odd as some of them may be.
All of the photos of happy people modelling the assortment of Witcher, Gwent, and Cyberpunk 2077 apparel are also CD Projekt Red staff, too. It’s nice to see real people wearing their weird wares, rather than impossibly attractive models. Because let’s be honest: this odd drawstring bag isn’t going to make you sexier.
Sorry, mate, but it’s not doing you any favours.
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